What does the future hold for you?
Let Mystic Knights reveal your Love, Health and Money matters.
Here at the DLG - Disco Love Gods we got every fuckin' thing you need and all in the one place. We got our very own Mystic Knights AKA Doogie Knights to tell you your horror scope.
Doogie is a Physco who can see in to the fuckin' future and can see what the planets have instore for you. All your dreams of love, wealth and health will be revealed in this section.
Let's get the fuckin' show on the road.
Your stars for
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 Aquarius
20 Jan - 19 Feb |
Aquarius : 2011 is the year for getting rid of the old and brining in the new. With water being your sign this means that you should empty your fucking bath and run yourself a new one with fresh water. You might possibly get laid in the very near future. |
 Pisces
20 Feb - 20 Mar |
Pisces : It is time to shave off your pubic hair for your lover. No-one likes getting crabs from a dirty cunt like you so do yourself and potential sex partners a favor and get the razor to your lower region as quickly as possible. |
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Aries : Single rams will be having the time of their lives this month when they discover that the new DLG Sex Shop will be opening. More things to ram in to as many holes as possible and at a price that is second to none. |
 Aries
21 Mar - 20 Apr |
Taurus : This month sees you talking less bollocks than normal as you will discover BOVINE SCAT as your new sexual hobby. Becareful at parties as getting drunk may lead to things that others don't really want to know or see in public places. |
 Taurus
21 Apr - 21 May |
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 Gemini
22 May - 22 Jun |
Gemini : Probably the best start to the New Year for siamese twins and two faced cock sucking mutherfuckers. You are hot and no fucker gives a shit what you look like and sex will be laid out on a plate for you until the end of the month when people start to realize what a cunt you are. |
 Cancer
23 Jun - 23 Jul |
Cancer : Not the best start to the New Year for you as you turn in to a boring bastard that no-one wants to be around. Get yourself a sense of humour for February and things will change dramatically for you. Who knows, you might even get asked out and fucked. |
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Leo : This month see all Leos indulging in sex with food. Choose wisely as your choice of food is crucial in keeping that partner you have been pursuing for some time now. Sticking prawns and crabsticks in your ass will not be the turn on for others as it is for you. |
 Leo
24 Jul - 23 Aug |
Virgo : This is the month for teasing the opposite sex with your sexuality but be very careful as too much temptation for some will lead to you getting raped. And not the nice rape. |
 Virgo
24 Aug - 23 Sep |
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 Libra
24 Sep - 23 Oct |
Libra : 2011 is the start for you to weigh things up. January sees you weighing up the possibility of staying straight of taking a detour to some homosexuality experimentation. If you are female this is a great experiment to try. |
 Scorpion
24 Oct - 22 Nov |
Scorpio : Good ridence to 2008, it was a shit year for sorpions as you often got stung by people you felt as being friends. 2009 sees you getting your own back by shitting on those who shat on you. This time your shit will be real shit. |
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Sagitarius : A new job is on the horizon for sagitarians with a point to prove. Why not try porn and shoot your arrow in to more holes than you could possibly believe exists. Write to Leroys Love Tips to find out how to get in to porn movies. |
 Sagitarius
23 Nov - 22 Dec |
Capricorn : 2011 is one of the horniest years for capricorns infact you will be infected with Sexalitus and no-one will be safe. Like Tudor crisps you will climb any mountain to get that fine piece of ass and all fine pieces of ass will be ready for it. |
 Capricorn
23 Dec - 19 Jan |
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