The Lost Aztec Tongue as Translated by The DLG

The Lost Aztec Tongue

Let your mind wander free and listen & learn

Here at the University of DLG we have been studying the Lost Aztec Tongue - A language thought only to be a myth.

After many years of study we have discovered that The Lost Aztec Tongue is no myth. We have taken this opportunity to reach out to all you crazy mutherfuckers and give you an insight as to what The Lost Aztec Tongue is all about.

Take your time to read some of our Aztecian Stories and make up your own mind as to the purpose of this ancient language.

Translating The Lost Aztec Tongue

Sir Isaac Newton Hayes

Sir Isaac Newton Hayes Invented Gravity

Sir Isaac Newton Hayes

It takes years of hard mutherfuckin' study to translate The Lost Aztec Tongue and we have many case studies for all you mutherfuckers to brush up on in this fuckin' section. Let us know what you think about the origin of The Lost Aztec Tongue. Contact us by the usual method.

The Universal Law of Gravitation

Everyone has heard of Sir Isaac Newton Hayes who Sang the theme tune to "Shaft" and many other lady moistin' soul tunes but did you also know that this soul brother also invented "Gravity!"

Ain't that the fuckin' truth - Damn right it is. Isaac was born in 1642 makin' him 366 years old this year. While floatin' in the air whilst writing one of his classic soul tunes, Isaac decided to float down to the ground coz he likes to get down. As Isaac was chillin' he noticed several beautiful ladies drifing down towards him and started to think.

After only a few vital moments in history, Isaac concluded that he was the center of a gravitaional pull and in this conclusion decided to invent gravity. Now, wherever Isaac stands or floats his gravitaional pull attracts hordes of beautiful, moist ladies to his finally tuned, taut like a tigrrrrre body.

Although Isaac invented gravity we are not obliged to use it. In jive talk we mean that everyone takes it for granted that we are stuck to the earth but this is not true. We all can float we just have to turn off the gravity thoughts in our heads and start to get high. Yey brother!

Why The Sky is Blue

Why The Sky is Blue

Why the Sky is blue

Have you ever looked up at the sky and thought "That cloud looks like a cock and balls"?

We have been studying why the sky is blue for quite some time and we have finally come up with our theory. Some fools (thumbs down) believe us to think that the sky is blue because of the reflection of the sea but this is complete bullshit becoz the sea is blue due to the sky beaming it's blueness down on to it.

So, why is the sky blue?

We all know that the sun is as fuckin' hot as the bitch I fucked last night and when the suns rays enter the atmosphere it produces a flame when it meets all the gas produced by human farts, much like that of a match or lighter.

If the suns rays did not light this gas we would all die from the smell of farts.

And that is all there is to it! More Lost Aztec Tongue coming soon!

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