Disco Love Gods Fun & Games

FUN & GAMES

It's fuckin' true... All work and no play won't get your cock sucked, unless you work in the porn industry.

We got some crazy fucked-up competitions, games, jokes and other bizarre shit for you to relax with. Everything here is free to play and you could even win some fuckin' cool, salsational prizes.

Why not sign-up to our newsletter and get access to more crazy shit! Sign-up now you dumbass, it's fuckin' free!!!

Jokes

Here some of The DLGs favorite jokes. Got a favorite joke? Send it and and we will add it to our growing list. If it is any fucking good that is!

Laughter is the best medicine after pussy

Some people pay a lot of money to piss themselves but here at The DLG Jokes page we will make you do it for free!

It is sometimes hard to remember jokes you have heard so we are putting the best jokes we can remember on to our site so you can visit us anytime you need to remember that joke you wish to entertain your friends with.

Jokes are great for breaking the ice or for smoothing the path to a tight bit of pussy but sometimes they can offend some people. Who gives a shit about offending people if a joke is funny!

Over the coming weeks and months we will be adding our favorite jokes. If you have a joke that is funny, and we don't mean lame jokes we have all heard before; then send them in to the usual address. You might even get a prize if it makes us piss ourselves.

C'mon let's see what ya got!

1/ Joke: Two flies on a pile of dog shit, one says to the other "I ain't seen you for a while" the other says "Yeah, I've been on the sick".

2/ Joke: Two flies on a toilet seat, one says to the other "I ain't seen you for a while" the other says "Yeah, I got pissed off".

3/ Joke: Two flies on a bitches ass, one says to the other "I ain't seen you for a while" the other says "Yeah, I've been in the nick".

4/ Joke: Why do bitches have tiddies?
Punch Line: So you have something to look at when you talk to them.

5/ Joke: What's the difference between a midget and dwarf?
Punch Line: Midgets are a third the size of a regular human being and all in proportion while dwarves are 'slightly magical'.

6/ Joke: Did you hear about the short sighted circumciser?
Punch Line: He got the sack.

7/ Joke: Doogie Knights met a lady in the Ostich Club and took her back to his penthouse appartment. They ended up in his bedroom which had various teddy bears on the 3 shelves. The bottom shelf had small bears, the middle shelf had medium sized bears and the top shelf had big bears.

The lady was surprised to see all these bears but didn't mention it to Doogie. After an evening of oral, anal and vaginal sex they were lying in his wanking chariot having a smoke when the lady rolled over to Doogie and asked "Well, how was it for you?"

Punch Line: Doogie turn to her and said "You can have a bear from the bottom shelf, bitch. Now put your panties on and fuck off".

8/ Joke: A man goes to the doctors and tells him he can't get it up with his wife. The doctor tells him not to worry and to make an appointment to bring his wife in to see him. The next day the man and his wife are in the doctors office and the doctor asks the man's wife to strip naked.

The woman strips naked and the doctor asks her to turn round and jiggle about. The doctor turns to the man and says...

Punch Line: "Sir, there is nothing wrong with you, she doesn't give me a hard on either".

9/ Joke: Why did God create Adam before creating Eve?
Punch Line: To give him a chance to speak.

10/ Joke: What is the difference between an Australian wedding and an Australian funeral?
Punch Line: One less drunken asshole.

We don't want to spoil you with too many jokes to early in to the start of the website so there will be more jokes heading your way soon!

Fact or Fiction

We have some stories and some images that are indeed fact, but also some that are absolutely full of bullshit.

Can you tell the difference between Fact or Fiction?

Here at The DLG we talk a lot of nonsense but sometimes facts can be more strange than fiction. We have put together some bizzare stories and we want to know which ones are true and which are false.

Read carefully and choose wisely as some questions on the competition page could refer to some of these weird stories. We have all kinds are crazy shit to bamboozle you with from the seventies to the future of today.

Sit back and watch your brain fry like the kidney I just ripped from a skanky whores body for lunch.

Enjoy!

20 stories and quotes that could be true!

1/ Back in 1919, the Russian transplant pioneer Serge Voronoff made headlines by grafting monkey testicles onto human males. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

2/ It is possible to say the alphabet in less than 3 seconds. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

3/ In 1975, a married couple of thieves went to court when they could not agree on how to split what they had stolen before. The court put them both in jail. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

4/ A 23-year-old woman was arrested at the Salt Lake City airport hotel when she tried to pay for her visit with three $22 bills. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

5/ In 1917 two brothers made a bet to see who was the toughest of the two. After one brother chopped off a leg with an axe the other brother reached for his chainsaw and decapitated himself. When his head fell his brother heard him say "I win". Fact or Fiction? True or False?

6/ Steps were invented only to ascend. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

7/ Gengis Khan had downsyndrome. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

8/ In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

9/ Amphibious means to use both hands equally. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

10/ In every Presidential election since 1845, the taller of the two candidates has been the victor. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

11/ A man's ejaculation travels at a speed of 27mph! Fact or Fiction? True or False?

12/ A Kangaroo´s pouch can stretch to accomodate a fully grown human. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

13/ Jet lag was once called boat lag, before there were jets. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

14/ A blue whale's testicles are as large as a volkswagon beetle. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

15/ It is physically impossible for goat to look up into the sky. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

16/ A human with their mouth glued to a hosepipe and nostrils shut can absorb approximately eight gallons of water before bursting. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

17/ Paraskavedekatriaphobia is the extreme fear of animal noises. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

18/ On average women speak 5000 words per day, where as men speak just over 2000. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

19/ In the 1982 Oxford English Dictionary the word "Gullible" was missing. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

20/ It is possible to have false legs but real feet. Fact or Fiction? True or False?

There will be more weird and wonderful stories and quotes coming soon!

Arcade Games Coming Soon

Time out mutherfuckers! We gonna be havin´ ourselves some fun with some great games. Let´s chill out with a joint or two, a bottle JD and play some fun games.

Try our classic arcade games. New games will be added when we can be bothered.

Free online games

When it comes to relaxing and having fun there is no-one more qualified than a Disco Love God, that is what we do best!

We have got some great games for you to play and the best thing is that they are all completely free. We have our own crazy arcade zone. So sit back and play to your heart's content.

We will be bringing new games to the site when we find worth while games but if you have any suggestions we will be happy to listen as long as they are not shit.

Competitions

Think you´re so fuckin´ clever do ya? We got some crazy competitions for you. These are no ordinary competitions so you´d better brush up on your knowledge of The DLG!

Prizes will be up for grabs for the worthy. What the fuck are you waiting for? Check out this weeks competitions. Winners will be announced next week.

This weeks competition

Welcome to the competitions page where YOU have the chance to win some cool shit from our online merchandise store.

By now you should have had a good look around the site and should be ready to test your knowledge of The DLG. Various pages will have clues about the questions we will be asking you in just a few moments.

Good Luck!

This weeks competition is actually going to run for a month with it being the first cometition of the opening of the new DLG website. From then on we will be having a competition every week.

Don't forget there will be prizes for the winner from our online merchandise store.

We have ten questions all about The DLG so we hope you have had a good look round as the answers can be found on various pages of the site. OK, let's get on with the competition!

  1. One of the Bizzare Stories is complete bullshit made up by The DLG. Which one is it?
  2. What is the difference between midgets and dwarfs?
  3. If Professor Badass was to wear a gold pocket watch on a chain, what would happen to the Universe?
  4. Who is the 1st Honory Member of The DLG Hall of Fame?
  5. Salsation is a track from which 70's album?
  6. Which of The Bond Breakfast ingredients gives you 3 for the price of 2?
  7. How would you make The Max Martini cocktail?
  8. In DLG talk; what 2 meanings do the words "Fool" and "Foolish" mean?
  9. Which member of The Rat Pack called The DLG "Foolish" and what did he mean by "Foolish"?
  10. DLG stands for Disco Love Gods but what do the initials FNLM stand for?

In the event of a tie break; answer the tie break question!

Tie Breaker!

Tell us: When you sleep, where do your fingers go?

The best original answer will win.

Competitions are not open to original members of The DLG, their family or friends.

Just Bizarre

Every week will be hunting for pussy and some bizarre stories.

Find out what crazy fucked-up things are happening around the world!

Some stories are just so bizzare that they couldn't possible be made up. We have some weird and crazy stories that are just too strange to be untrue.

Find out what fucked up things are happening around us every day.

Enjoy!

It's a bizarre world

Woman calls police after hubby, 82, takes Viagra

An 82-year-old Italian man who took a Viagra pill scared his wife so much she called the police. Giovanni di Stefano, from Palermo, was so excited his wife thought he would have a heart attack and dialled 999.

"The police didn't do anything but their presence had the desired effect. He lost interest in his love life pretty quickly," said a family friend. Terrified wife Carla, 69, told police: "He is 82-years-old and so I thought so much love could have lethal consequences."

Man accused of stealing 3-year-old's identity

Authorities say a North Carolina man used a Social Security number belonging to a 3-year-old girl to sign up for telephone and natural gas service. The News and Record of Greensboro reported Tuesday that 44-year-old Michael John Maris of Mebane was charged with one count of identity theft and two counts of obtaining property by false pretense.

Alamance County sheriff's officials said the child's grandmother, Linda Raker, contacted authorities after a collection agency began looking for unpaid utility bills in her granddaughter's name. The sheriff's office said the suspect is related to Raker, but did not disclose the relationship.

Maris was being held Tuesday on $5,000 bond at the Alamance County jail. Court records didn't show that he had an attorney.

Man arrested for smuggling drugs in Kangaroos pouch

A man was arrested in Manhatten NY, when the circus he was travelling with was raided by the NYPD drugs squad. The police department was tipped off by Australian police who received a tip from an outraged RSPCA worker who found a dead kangaroo near the town of Kahmoomulga in Queensland, Australia.

RSPCA workers found large traces of cocaine in the pouch of the dead kangaroo and started to investigate. A travelling circus had been in the town of Kahmoomulga two days earlier and were due to take the circus on a tour of the USA.

Police finally caught up with the circus in New York and found large quantities of cocaine in the trailer of the kangaroo trainer.

Henry Cocktossen-Helm 43, was being held by New York police pending further enquiries.

Suspect in Dunkin' Donuts robberies barks like a dog at judge

The man accused of being the shotgun-wielding robber in a two-county string of Dunkin' Donuts robberies repeatedly barked like a dog at a county judge this afternoon during a court hearing.

"I would suggest you take this more seriously," Judge John Hurley told James Herard, 19, who replied "ruff" several times. Herard barked again after Hurley explained his rights as a criminal defendant. "I'm going to consider your bark as an acknowledgment of what I just told you," the judge said.

Herard, of Lauderhill, has been at the Broward County Jail, held without bond. Hurley, expressing concern that Herard might try to intimidate witnesses, ordered that Herard be denied telephone privileges while he awaits trial.

There will be more bizzare stories heading your way soon!

Guess What?

Some things are not as they seem! Can you see the woods for the trees or perhaps count chickens before they fuckin´ hatch?

What the fuck is this?

Just what the hell is this?

Have you ever seen a photo and thought it to be something different to what it actually is?

Every week we will showing you parts of photographs for you to guess what the whole picture really is.

Some things are not as they seem. Can you guess what the hell is going on here?

What Do YOU See?

innocent lamp or something else?

Here is a close up of a photo and there are two possible explanations as to what it is.

What is it that your mind sees? Are you an innocent child or is your mind in the gutter like most of us?

Study the photo for a few minutes and you will see the truth.

We know what you are thinking, that's why we chose this photo for our first Guess What segment.

The truth is out there so, if you really want to know the answer then click on the button below.

 

Reveal!
A Tight Ass
WTF

Here we have another bizzare close up of something strange.

Is this an animal, mineral or some alien creature?

Again study the photo for a few minutes and you will see the truth.

We think that you will never guess what the fuck this close up is of.

The truth is out there so, if you really want to know the answer then click on the button below.

Reveal!
Doberfrog
Oh Lord what do we have here?

God knows what this close up is of but it's a gem of a photo.

Is this an animal, mineral or some alien creature?

Look closely for a few minutes and you will see the truth.

We think that some of you may have an idea as to what the bigger picture is.

The truth is out there so, if you really want to know the answer then click on the button below.

Reveal!
Jesus on a Dogs Ass
This is fucking awesome!

This close up will reveal something so fuckin' awesome you'll shit ya self!

What on earth could this possibly be

Study this photo closely and you will see the truth.

We have given you a chance to guess correctly and we hope many of you will have guessed right.

The truth is out there so, if you really want to know the answer then click on the button below.

Reveal!
Beard Hat
Discover More Crazy Shit On The Website
Word of the Week. DLG talk!

Learn how to talk like a DLG. You'll learn the moves that accompany each word LOL!

Word of the Week
Icons are the people we look up to. Check out the icons from the seventies

John Travolta, James Brown, Betty Davis and more icons from the seventies.

Icons

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Disco Love Gods (DLG) 2008 - 2017

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In Memory of Jonathon Lord (DLG) 21/03/1973 - 08/11/2015 & Carlos Perez 11/10/1973 - 05/11/2016

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Any persons taking offense to the content of this site should go fuck themselves!

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